A capella: A Hope and Prayer for American Idol Rejects...
I have been working for the Events Support office of Dickinson College for approximately four years now. Working for them as a Sound Technician, I have been exposed to a plethora of events that I probably would not have given a second thought otherwise. I have seen Jesse Ventura speak on physical and mental health. I have also helped "run sound" for Good Charlotte, SUM41, Jurrasic 5, and a bunch of other bands. However, though I have "run sound" for many different events that I really enjoyed after the show was over, there is one event that I loathe more than anything. A capella shows. I fucking hate A capella. I don't know, maybe it's the fact that here at Dickinson College the pool of students who can actually sing is severely limited, or maybe it's the fact that a group of people covering a song that was perfectly fine to begin with is a tad bit obnoxious. I mean, there are really good respectable A capella groups like Rock-Apella, but I even good A capella I still cannot bring myself to nod my head and think "wow, that's pretty good!"
Obnoxious Factor #1-
For some reason these "vocalists" think that they know everything about audio production, so I am constantly having to fend off A capell-ists telling me that they need a little more 5K in their monitor speaker, or the low-end in their microphone is a little too much and they need the percussion to bleed through their monitor a little more. I guarantee you that 99% of the so-called vocalists that I have come into contact with have no fucking clue what 5K is in regards to sound.
Obnoxious Factor #2-
They don't ever place the correct people in the correct positions for the song that they are performing. I cannot tell you how many times I have heard a rendition of a Rob Thomas song or a Vertical Horizon song that is performed with a soloist who cannot sing, first of all, let alone do justice to the original song. Since they have someone in the back doing the "bops" and "poofs" (which they think is a form of percussion...the last time I checked percussion involved some sort of instrument like a drum...or a tamborine...or a cowbell), why don't they find someone specifically for the "percussion" of an A capella group and make sure that person can actually beat-box somewhat...that could be cool. "Shitty A capella group, featuring Rahzel"
Obnoxious Factor #3
The way they arrange the songs makes no sense whatsoever. Shoops...and wops..and bow wows...and dum dum dums...I guess that is the sound the original song produces...I never really heard it that way, but maybe I am just a retard and have no idea what I am talking about anyway. Nah, that's just stupid, I know I am not a retard. Haha..
Maybe it is just the A capella groups here at Dickinson...maybe it is just because I am that much of a musical enthusiast that I get pissed when a group does injustice to a song...or maybe I just get pissed off when I have to run sound for a bunch of pretentious American Idol wanna-be's. So, in closing, Simon Cowell...those who are utterly terrible and make you cringe...don't worry. There is some college out there offering a shitty A capella group looking for shitty singers to do shitty renditions of shitty songs.
DOWNLOADS OF THE MONTH:
Rickety Rackety - Aesop Rock
It Takes A Seven Nation Army - Apathy
Blood Runs Cold - Jedi Mind Tricks
DARE - Gorillaz
I have been working for the Events Support office of Dickinson College for approximately four years now. Working for them as a Sound Technician, I have been exposed to a plethora of events that I probably would not have given a second thought otherwise. I have seen Jesse Ventura speak on physical and mental health. I have also helped "run sound" for Good Charlotte, SUM41, Jurrasic 5, and a bunch of other bands. However, though I have "run sound" for many different events that I really enjoyed after the show was over, there is one event that I loathe more than anything. A capella shows. I fucking hate A capella. I don't know, maybe it's the fact that here at Dickinson College the pool of students who can actually sing is severely limited, or maybe it's the fact that a group of people covering a song that was perfectly fine to begin with is a tad bit obnoxious. I mean, there are really good respectable A capella groups like Rock-Apella, but I even good A capella I still cannot bring myself to nod my head and think "wow, that's pretty good!"
Obnoxious Factor #1-
For some reason these "vocalists" think that they know everything about audio production, so I am constantly having to fend off A capell-ists telling me that they need a little more 5K in their monitor speaker, or the low-end in their microphone is a little too much and they need the percussion to bleed through their monitor a little more. I guarantee you that 99% of the so-called vocalists that I have come into contact with have no fucking clue what 5K is in regards to sound.
Obnoxious Factor #2-
They don't ever place the correct people in the correct positions for the song that they are performing. I cannot tell you how many times I have heard a rendition of a Rob Thomas song or a Vertical Horizon song that is performed with a soloist who cannot sing, first of all, let alone do justice to the original song. Since they have someone in the back doing the "bops" and "poofs" (which they think is a form of percussion...the last time I checked percussion involved some sort of instrument like a drum...or a tamborine...or a cowbell), why don't they find someone specifically for the "percussion" of an A capella group and make sure that person can actually beat-box somewhat...that could be cool. "Shitty A capella group, featuring Rahzel"
Obnoxious Factor #3
The way they arrange the songs makes no sense whatsoever. Shoops...and wops..and bow wows...and dum dum dums...I guess that is the sound the original song produces...I never really heard it that way, but maybe I am just a retard and have no idea what I am talking about anyway. Nah, that's just stupid, I know I am not a retard. Haha..
Maybe it is just the A capella groups here at Dickinson...maybe it is just because I am that much of a musical enthusiast that I get pissed when a group does injustice to a song...or maybe I just get pissed off when I have to run sound for a bunch of pretentious American Idol wanna-be's. So, in closing, Simon Cowell...those who are utterly terrible and make you cringe...don't worry. There is some college out there offering a shitty A capella group looking for shitty singers to do shitty renditions of shitty songs.
DOWNLOADS OF THE MONTH:
Rickety Rackety - Aesop Rock
It Takes A Seven Nation Army - Apathy
Blood Runs Cold - Jedi Mind Tricks
DARE - Gorillaz
posted by S. Paul Lukoskie at 3:14 AM
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